Sunday, January 18, 2009

All dazed and disoriented..!

And no, that's not because of a hangover from a heavy night of drinking (I think people who know me know that there's no way that is possible for a guy like me!), but it feels the same nonetheless!! The reason?? Four simple words - CHANDNI CHOWK TO CHINA!!


Firstly, Mr. Nikhil Advani, what the f were u thinking??! That Indian movie-goers are dumb?? Or that we're Chinese, and that all those Chinese stunts would earn you a pat on the back?? Please do not attempt to insult our intelligence ever again in the future, sir, for you have already committed that mortal sin with this 2 hr 45 min of worthless rubbish! And just because Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon won Oscars inspite of its over-exaggerated action with the Chinese actors flying from point A to point B, doesn't mean CC2C will be subject to rapturous applause for the same reasons. Allow me to present you with a comparative study -- Tom & Jerry, with Tom falling off buildings and being kicked through the air, is funny. Wile E. Coyote falling off a cliff thanks to the Road runner, is funny. Mithun da kicking Akshay Kumar in the backside, sending him flying through the Delhi skyline, unlike most other airlines nowadays due to fog, IS NOT FUNNY!! It is in fact really, really SAD! It is sad to see that this is what Indian cinema has come down to, that people like Akshay Kumar have stooped so low and are making fools of themselves. Then there's that scene on a pier where "Sidhu" puts his foot against the chest of one of the bad guys, and then does some bizarre move that even I couldn't comprehend, but the next thing we see is all the villains launched into the air, wooden boards flying around, winds swirling and the water in the sea rising as if a Tsunami is about to hit!! I've seen plenty of movies where one is required to leave one's brains at home and proceed to the cinema hall, and have appreciated quite a few such movies as well. CC2C, however, is a movie which, after watching, even a man lying on a surgery table with his brain in a jar next to him, would feel like banging his head against the nearest accessible wall, or any other hard object for that matter. It defies logic, gravity, law of conservation of energy, law of conservation of mass, law of conservation of charge, psychology, philosophy....everything!! (Suyash...go ahead...call me a nerd!! ). The acting is nothing to write home about either, although I did read in a review somewhere, "We have reached a point where it is no longer possible to use Deepika Padukone and acting in the same sentence"!! Very true, at least going by her last 2 movies, Bachna Ae Haseeno and CC2C! Overall, this movie is a dud. Yet, it wouldn't be surprising to see this movie gross over Rs. 100 crore, thanks to the loyal fans of Akki.


Anyway, I need to watch a decent movie now in order to compensate for this madness. Hopefully Slumdog Millionaire won't disappoint. Until the next...

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