Saturday, December 20, 2008

Two and two together

It's that time of the year again....the day one celebrates his/her mere presence on this planet, the day we realize how significant and important we are in the lives of the people around us...and most of all how significant and valuable our own life is! Yes sir, "Arvind Jayanti" for me, you may say! Maybe someday Dec 20th will indeed be called that....maybe it'll be a bank holiday.....maybe there'll be a mail going out from a company to all its clients and employees citing "This is to remind you that the offices of XYZ Ltd. shall remain closed on December 20th on account of Arvind Jayanti. Normal business shall resume on December 21st". Maybe there'll be candlelight marches....a memorial...umm....a parade....no, not a parade....chuck that....hmm...a cheesecake-eating competition!! And the winner gets a free season ticket to watch Liverpool at Anfield!

Well let me ponder over what I need to do to achieve this....I guess the following are my options:

1. Start my own religion
2. Save the world from recession
3. Eliminate terrorism
4. Pick up a cause and launch a revolutionary movement in favour of it
5. Get Pakistan to back off from Kashmir
6. Become the first person of Indian origin to be selected as the US President and then humbly decline, owing my allegiance to my motherland
7. Create a human colony on the moon/Mars
8. Deliver a hit movie for Yashraj films
9. Finish an infrastructure project in Mumbai within first stipulated deadline
10. Keep my room clean for a minimum consecutive period of 48 hours

As the above tasks are not humanly possible by self, I would say....Arvind Jayanti?? NOT!

22 years have passed since I opened my eyes to the ceiling of Breach Candy hospital in Mumbai. Normally, some tend to dwell on their past on such occasions and introspect. Others like to look toward their future...plan, strategize, generate visions etc. Me? I live in the present...past is past, learn from it and move on, and let the future take it's course, don't mess with it....focus on today, never waste opportunities coming ur way, and most importantly, u only get one shot at life, so live it to the fullest! That is what i believe in.....will always keep believing in...

Anyway, as I type these words, my 22nd birthday officially ends...its 12 am....that's all for now I guess...until the next....

Sunday, December 07, 2008

Be a Man! - An ode to RP

It was a typical Sunday morning at home. I had basically nothing to do, so there I was, staring at my PC screen, glancing through the contents of my Western Digital 500 GB "My Book", looking for something to watch and pass the time. Usually, its a random episode of F.R.I.E.N.D.S, or some downloaded Youtube videos, or some specific scenes I love watching in certain movies (movies like A Few Good Men, Rush Hour 3 etc.....no, not those types of scenes, you perverts!!). This time, I was in the mood for some good ol' fashioned humour, so who else do I turn to, but our good friend, philosopher n guide, Russell Peters! :) As I began watching Outsourced for the 10^xth time, where x -> +infinity, I thought...hey, I was anyway looking for something to write on my blog, I finally think I have it! So, all you people who have only heard the name "Russell Dominic Peters", here is a quick refresher course on one of the greatest comedians of our time!!

First, get certain things straight: (a) He is NOT an Indian, he is a Canadian, born to Indian parents (b) Yes, that IS his real name.....as he himself says it "You have a doubt? Ask my parents, Eric and Maureen! And my brother Julio!" (although his brother's name is actually Clayton). Being an average student at school, comedy slowly became his "thing". He started doing stage shows in his late teens, and his popularity spread like wildfire. Soon he was performing in the States, doing a variety of stand-up acts both on television and in front of live audiences on stage. His unique repertoire of jokes, broadly ranging from those based on his Indian origin, different types of Asians, to the peculiarities of the British and Africans has brought the whole world down to the floor roaring with laughter. His impeccable impressions of Indians, Chinese, British, South Americans etc. leaves one craving for more everytime a show ends. Trademark lines include "Somebody gonna getta hurt real bad!", "Be a Man!", "!Xobile...he's got a click in his name!!!!", "I give you best deal.....34.50!" .....man, there's so many! Each and every joke of his is LEGENDARY in its own right!

Some of his best creations are part of his comedy special "Outsourced", still a top-selling DVD hit. He has featured numerous times on shows like Comedy Central, Just for Laughs etc. He has also hosted a number of award shows, having a handsome collection of awards himself. These include 4 Gemini awards, which are the official Canadian Television awards. His popularity grew worldwide with the dawn of the Youtube era, with his comic acts registering mind-boggling number of hits among users. Taking advantage of his ever growing popularity, Russell has done stage shows in a large number of countries including UK, Australia, India, Denmark, Sweden, South Africa, the Carribean etc.

Recently, Russell was in India as a part of a world tour to promote his new DVD, "Red, White and Brown", as well as celebrate his 20th anniversary in the business. I was among the fortunate ones to witness the side-splitting treat, and boy did he deliver! I swear I must've laughed more in those 1.5 hours than in the last 5 years of my life!! Poor old Sikander Kher, and that other director whose name I can't quite recollect, they'll be wishing they had given this one a miss! Russell has single-handedly ruined their careers I think! It indeed was an unforgettable experience.

Well I guess that's all you need to know. So, all you folks, here is the algorithm you need to follow:
1. Start
2. Log onto http://www.youtube.com/
3. Search for "Russell Peters"
4. Think of sad things, cry as much as you can......'cos the only tears you'll now be shedding are from all the hysterical laughter that is about to follow!
5. Click on a search result, and let the video load.
6. Watch video, laugh your a** off
7. If (you want more) Then goto step 5, else goto step 8
8. Lie down, relax, let that stomach ache die down!
9. Stop

Until the next...Good Day!

Saturday, December 06, 2008

One Spirit? Or a rude Awakening??

As blood and tears spilled over 3 of the finest hotels in Mumbai and indeed in India in the last week of November '08, blood boiled through the rest of the city. People joined hands in venting out their frustration and fury at the sheer apathy of the Indian government in tackling terrorism. Peace marches, silent protests and lighting of candles took place to symbolize the unity of the city of dreams. Mumbai, in one voice, rejected the prevailing political system and called for change, a change for the better.


The concept of "One Spirit - One Mumbai" has been well established for quite a while now, and somehow it takes a tragedy like this for everyone to come to wake up and smell the roses. Why?? Do we need an excuse to show our unity?? Hasn't our entire political and administrative system been flawed ever since independence? Sure, no system can be perfect, and one may be asking for a bit too much to change the system, but it sure can be improved with the help of some innovative inputs. For one, citizens should be allowed a more active role in checking the functioning of the government. With the dawn of the "Enough is Enough" era, a Citizens' Regulatory Body could be formulated to voice the concerns of the people and form an effective bridge between the administration and the common man. Every decision that the government takes may be analysed, and the citizens can provide their feedback as well. The RTI Act is another useful tool that needs to be utilised in a much more productive manner. And, most importantly, this Body should be completely devoid of any politics and bureaucracy. "Dream On, dude!", you may say, but it just takes one spark to ignite a fire, and I feel that spark has already been produced. Sure, its not the easiest of tasks, so probably it can first begin at a nodal level, before slowly growing to city levels.

"The world is a dangerous place, not because of those who do evil, but because of those who look on and do nothing" - Albert Einstein

Wednesday, December 03, 2008

Of Monks and Merseysiders...

"Never forget the importance of living with unbridled exhiliration. Never neglect to see the exquisite beauty in all living things. Today, and this very moment, is a gift. Stay focused on your purpose. The Universe will take care of everything else" - Robin Sharma

I picked this up from a book that I thought I would never read, but eventually got around to reading it. I am, of course, talking about the philosopher's delight, "The Monk who sold his Ferrari". Though it has been touted as a must-read for quite some time now for all book lovers, I was always reluctant to read it, given that I read books (and similarly watch movies) purely as a leisure activity and for entertainment, and not for exercising my mind. As such, I have never been a fan of non-fictional and philosophical works. But I decided that the time has come for me to expand my horizons in reading, and so I gave TMWSHF a shot. It's pretty decent, and certainly didn't put me to sleep at least, although I was not too impressed with the character portrayal of John, a supposed Harvard graduate, and some portions of the discourse being offered to him by the "monk" Julian (A Harvard graduate not knowing how to light a fire given a magnifying glass, a piece of paper, and some wood? Really??! Hell then getting into Harvard should be a piece of cake for me!!). One thing's for sure, the book does not teach you anything new, nor is it meant to. Whatever is essayed is pure common sense, expanded with the help of some flowery descriptions and examples. In fact, the whole book can be summed up in one line: "A healthy mind, a healthy body and a well-defined objective in life, pursued with everlasting determination, focus and passion....therein lies the key to all success". But, I must admit, it certainly has encouraged me to further widen my scope of books to read and pick up those that at one point I would've thought would be "dull and boring".

Hmm....havn't talked about football for quite some time! Well, lets see, Liverpool on top...Chelsea losing at home...ManU not clicking into gear...Arsenal may have beaten Chelsea n ManU, but they still suck this season...is there anything more left to say?? :) But yeah, the Reds have just a point's lead, when ideally it should've been 5 or more. 0-0 draws at home against the likes of Fulham, West Ham and Stoke City just aint the way to go, so they need to get their scoring boots on....but fear not, 'cos with Torres returning from injury, things can only get better...YNWA!!

Prison Break S4 simply rocks!!! The magic of Scofield n co still lives on, after a disappointing season 3. All those who still havnt started watching, well, what the hell r u waiting for???? Get your hands on a copy now! Heroes S3 just aint good enough, although it is picking up slowly. And "How I met your mother", well, it definitely is turning out to be the new "F.R.I.E.N.D.S"!

Hmmm...........sleepy now....damn...its just 10.10 pm!! Oh yeah...new episode of Heroes...completely forgot...gotta see it...so Cheerio! Until the next..

Monday, December 01, 2008

Time for a fresh new beginning

Well its been almost 11 months since my last post, and how time flies. There I was, in my final year of engineering (Good Riddance!), struggling to put together something that could be labelled as a "Final Year Project", looking forward to the last semester and the much-awaited Industrial Visit (which eventually bombed big time for me), and amongst other things, having just started watching Prison Break!! And here I am now, Arvind Bhaskaran, Bachelor of Engineering, a "Technical Associate/Assistant Manager" with the technology division of a financial giant, learning the corporate way of life (read: Carrom in the morning/TT in the evening, and in between, whenever time permits, a few presses of the Enter key, Ctrl+C, Ctrl+V, and filling up some excel sheets..lol), having a LEGENDARY time and doing things that I wish I had done more often during my 4 years of college life! Not to mention that I have added "How I Met your Mother" and "Heroes" to my list of regularly followed serials. Now, drawing inspiration from the fact that Mr. Suyash "Suppandi" Nikhil has started blogging, I too have decided to resume where I left off, and hopefully this time, a more consistent and periodic flow of posts will follow.

The beauty of work life vis-a-vis college life lies in one simple and yet extremely significant aspect: As soon as you step out of your office premises, that's it! Full stop!! Work mode off, Chill out mode On! Do what you want, go where you want, 'cos you're free in every sense of the word! No fretting about assignments to be completed at home, or tests to be taken the next day, or, the worst of them all, EXAMS! No more exams!! That is, of course, if one excludes all the competitive exams that we all end up giving some time or the other. I'm sure this is mostly true only in the formative years of one's career, but hell, live life in the present is what I always say!!

Anyway, so what else is up....I guess the recent audacious attacks by terrorists in Mumbai is the hottest ongoing topic of discussion for bloggers, but I'm going to refrain from commenting too much on the issue, as enough has been said already. Honestly, I'm sick and tired of reading and watching the same news over and over again. So, all I'm gonna say is, after all these years of brutal massacres by terrorist groups, and the level of inaction against them, I feel there's only one way out left if we really want to see results being produced: FIGHT TERROR WITH TERROR. What happened to the good old adage of "fighting fire with fire"?? Why wouldn't it apply here?? Are the terrorists completely cold-blooded?? Do they not have even an inkling of a weakness inside their souls? I'm sure they do, and that is what the authorities need to exploit. Sure, they may be able to withstand unimaginable amounts of physical pain even unto death, but how much mental and emotional pain can they withstand?? I believe there must be a limit, so these weaknesses need to be found out and taken advantage of. It may be a radical thought, but one can't deny that anything not radical can only be labelled as "soft" in these trying times! Enough said.

I was really disappointed in the way the media completely ignored the suffering that people in Tamil Nadu were also going through during the crisis in Mumbai. I cannot remember even a single mention being made of it anywhere in News channels or in the print media. The cyclone that hit the TN coast was devastating, and had it hit a place like Mumbai, I'm sure it would've been splattered all over the news. Agreed, the terror attacks in Mumbai were much more important and had a far greater impact on the rest of the nation and the world as well, but that does not justify not giving any airtime/reading space to the catastrophe in TN. It only re-affirms my earlier post on the media not being responsible enough and not realizing their true role in society.

I guess I'll sign off for now....will save some for the posts to come, else I'll pretty soon run out of things to say! That's one of the reasons why one doesn't find me talking on the phone too much....I hate it whenever there comes a point in the conversation where all we're saying is "Aur kya..", "What else", "So wassup"....! Chatting rocks in that way...if u've run out of things to talk about, just work on something else!! Anyway, until the next....Good Day!

Thursday, January 10, 2008

The Tata NANO - a GRAND beginning to a new year...or is it??

Five years ago, the chairman of the TATA group, Mr. Ratan Tata, made India a promise. And on this day, 10th January 2008, being the true pioneer and visionary that Mr. Tata is, he has delivered. And how!!

With the entire country and even large parts of the world holding their breath in anticipation, Ratan Tata rolled out in arguably his company's biggest and most ambitious project ever, the Tata Nano - a car for the masses, one that offers a safe and affordable means of transportation for the average Indian family. Then, facing an awestruck mass of reporters, delegates and spectators, he proceeded to list out features and facts that, word by word, silenced all those who questioned the feasibility of such a venture. The gala event is sure to change the automobile industry forever.

As I sat in front of the idiot box and watched the car steadily roll out onto the stage with the chairman at the wheel, my first reaction was "Whaaa.....??? You've gotta be kidding me! That thing actually moves??!" But then as the technicalities of the car were listed out, I realized that the Tatas may have probably pulled a rabbit out of the hat here! It really does serve the purpose for a customer who just desires to have a set of wheels under him to move, without all the nitty-gritties and fancy stuff that most popular cars in the small-car segment have. Here are some facts about the car:
  • A 33 hp, 625 cc engine is just about enough for city traffic and most highways, but it could struggle on hill roads and stretches with considerable slope, especially under large loads. The rear engine will provide a certain uniqueness to this car and will present most Indians with something they perhaps have never seen before, at least on Indian roads. It will be interesting to see what the maximum speed this little machine can conjure up is and how the pickup is compared to other cars in the same segment. Long drives on highways may get frustrating for drivers who have already experienced driving other cars such as the Santro, Swift etc.
  • I think the compliance to major safety and emission norms wasn't very surprising, as opposed to some other skeptics. Tata would never have unveiled this car had it not met standard requirements on all fronts. This being said, the fact that the team behind the car has managed to go a step further and even meet the EURO-IV standard criteria is commendable.
  • The car is said to provide a mileage of 20 kmpl in the city and about 25-26 kmpl on highways. Well, that definitely is fantastic news with oil prices skyrocketing, but the question is for how long can it sustain such a performance? And will these claims really hold true? I guess we just have to wait until the first car rolls out onto the streets to find out!
  • No power steering....hmm cant see why that should be a problem....even my Santro doesn't have power steering and even I can handle it pretty well!! :)
  • 8% smaller externally and 21% larger internally than a Maruti 800...well I have to see that to believe it....if it is true, fantastic! Maruti better have an answer!
  • A Diesel variant of the car is also likely to be introduced soon. Along with a Diesel variant, I feel Tata should also look to introduce a CNG version to silence the environmental lobby further.
  • Finally, and most importantly, the price tag - yes, the standard model does have a dealer price of Rs. 1,00,000, but cost to the consumer will be in the region of 1.3-1.5 lakhs, inclusive of VAT, transportation etc. People should be ready for rises in production costs over the longer term, as manufacturing and transporting in an area like Singur, where the company has faced enough trouble already, is never going to be a smooth process.
All in all, this revolutionary move by the Tatas will surely "bring in the moolah" for them, albeit it'll take considerable time for them to break even. Now, the big question -- Is this really what India needs right now? More specifically, is this what a city like MUMBAI needs right now? A city, where already over 1.2 lakh cars are added to the streets annually....a city, where updates on traffic snarls already hog almost as much airtime of most radio stations as the actual music does....is this what such a city needs - a car that everyone can afford to buy and heap misery on road development authorities?? My answer - no way!!!! The unveiling of the Tata Nano has just opened up a huge Pandora's box, as even servants in some areas like Malabar Hills and other parts of Mumbai would be able to afford such a car, and the number of cars on the road would double very soon. The repercussions are already being felt, with a large number of companies including Maruti Suzuki and Renault-Bajaj announcing plans for a low cost car. On one side, the more sensible people encourage others to use public transport more often and not take their vehicles out to work -- well Tata has now done just the opposite! Those rooting for the car can wag their tongues all they want about meeting the emission norms, but if you have every other earning individual making a beeline to get their hands on one of these toys, the collective contribution of all these cars would be enough to make Dr. Pachauri's worst nightmare come true as well!!

My suggestion for the best way to utilize this car: convert them into taxis, and do away with the crappy Fiats! Its about time there was a major overhauling of the taxi fleet in major cities in India, particularly in Mumbai. High maintenance costs and lack of comfort for customers do not make things any easier for the taxi owners. We Mumbaiikars would love to zoom around on the streets of Mumbai in a Tata Nano cab rather than a rickety old Fiat any day of the week and twice on Sunday! In fact...hmm...a new autorickshaw costs somewhere in the region of 1 lakh....why not replace the autorickshaws too??? :) OK that might just be a little far-fetched, but it is possible!

Feel free to refute or add to any of the points I've made above....looking forward to your comments. Until the next, Good Day!

-Ari B